He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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