Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
