would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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