I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
