There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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