Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
