He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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