I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
