I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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