I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
