You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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