someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
