i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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