his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
