shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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