Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
