i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
