Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
one might say we're banned from that church
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
