My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
