Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
