My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
