32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
