i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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