I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
