You're so nebulous sometimes
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
