Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
