i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
