THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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