Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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