Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
