Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
