Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
