They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
