I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
