so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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