I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
