Apparently you make a good broom.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
