shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
