so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
