yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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