I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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