he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
