did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
