Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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