Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
