there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
