I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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