if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
