rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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