Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
